To You Who Feel Cornered

To all of you who feel like you're pushed into a corner,

I'm so sorry. I'm sorry you're born into this country. A country which society thinks that you have no place among them and rejects your very existence. I'm sorry that despite of your helplessness, you still have to bear all the anger and hatred directed to you by many people. I'm sorry that insecurities, fear, and worry are part of your everyday life even though this country is supposed to guarantee you protection and security.

Perhaps I don't, I can't, and I will never be able to fully understand what you've gone through. I don't know how it feels and possibly will never do. But you're so brave and strong to be able to survive all those hardships. Maybe you're one of many rape victims who are forced to marry and live together with your rapist. Or you're trapped in an unhealthy relationship and cannot get out of it, for any reasons that no one won't be able to comprehend because they aren't standing on your shoes.

I'm sorry that although people know what's going on, even when they claim they hear strange noises or screams coming from your house they choose not to report it to authorities. And their only pathetic, lame, typical excuse is always: "I don't feel I suppose to butt my nose into other people's menage." (Translation: "Saya nggak mau ikut campur rumah tangga orang lain.")

I'm sorry they treat you with such ignorance,
And I don't buy that excuse at all. Because they are the same people who badmouth you when you're a single parent. They are ones who gossip when you are a woman and has a job that forces you to come home late at night. They don't report alleged abuses but bring a mob to break into your house when they know you're inviting your lover home.


To all of you who were born different,

And also to you who choose a different life choice, and always think that you don't belong. And oftentimes, if not almost every time, you're denied from human rights. You cannot perform your prayer and religious ceremonies because others think your belief is misguided and you'll be burned in hell. Or you cannot achieve your dreams just because you come from the minor race. Perhaps you're exiled from the society because people think sexual orientation is contagious. That you're a threat for the society. And the government doesn't do anything to help you, to protect you from this social pressure and rejection. Some of them regrettably do the opposite: joining the society, even motivating them, to keep trampling you down.

I'm really, really sorry.
I'm sorry that Pancasila is dying day by day and you're the ones who suffer from that. No one deserves to be targeted with systematic harassment and death threats just for being who they are. Not a single soul. Not even you. I'm sorry that many people think you'd better be dead. I'm sorry that even the so-called famous and high-quality public universities keep silent about this and instead stated officially that they prefer to avoid discussing controversial topics and issues.

(Excuse me, but, aren't universities supposed to be some places where you can be challenged intellectually by providing intellectual, scientific, and academic debates, discussions, or forums--controversial or not?)


And I'm sorry for not being able to do anything.

I'm sorry that right now, all I can do is apologize on behalf of small numbers of people who feel heartbroken at the status quo, the worrisome way Indonesia is heading to. I am not sorry you're born different or making a difficult life choices in order to be honest with yourself. I'm sorry you're born here. I'm sorry that society doesn't treat you like human beings. I'm sorry that for you, there is no such thing as "Kemanusiaan yang Adil dan Beradab", "Keadilan Sosial Bagi Seluruh Rakyat Indonesia", neither the rests of this basic Indonesian principles.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

z. d. imama