Friday, 23 February 2018

Fullmetal Alchemist live-action movie should be burned into ashes by Roy Mustang


Belakangan blog ini makin wibu saja. Isinya pop culture Yapaaaan melulu. Tapi sudahlah. Apa boleh buat. Kali ini, saya mau menambah daftar konten wibu sembari living up to my self-proclaimed title: whiny blogger. Selamat datang di omelan berapi-api mengenai adaptasi film dari Hagane no Renkinjutsushi, alias Fullmetal Alchemist Live-Action Movie (2017) yang belum lama ini masuk Netflix sehingga bisa ditonton siapa saja. I should tell you from the start, that despite the scathing title of my post, this movie is arguably much better than Shingeki no Kyojin―okay, Attack on Titan―live action adaptation (2015) because thank god the movie didn't get made into TWO parts unlike that Titan rubbish. But even so, the lowest bar is so fucking low.

Sekadar informasi, saya sayang sekali dengan Fullmetal Alchemist. Baik itu serial komiknya, yang saya nobatkan sebagai "Most Unforgettable Shounen Manga" di sebelah sini, maupun adaptasi animasinya, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood (2009). Animasi versi tahun 2003 juga ada sih tapi B aja. Dilewat juga nggak ngefek. Terus terang saya sudah ketar-ketir saat mendengar pengumuman film live-action untuk Fullmetal Alchemist akan dibuat. Apalagi setelah diumumkan para pemerannya. Too many important characters are left out (they dared to let go of my precious Mustang Team!!!), and too many questionable choices of cast. And I worry about the time management, too. Fullmetal Alchemist is a very, very complex story, spanning about 64 episodes of anime series and 27 volumes of book. It's a given that the production team will cut here and there to make the storyline fits, or even creating several... uh, 'adjustments', but to what extent? 

Tombol Play saya tekan. Jantung berdegup kencang.

Transmutation Array yang digunakan para alkimia saat praktik.

Film dibuka dengan hamparan padang rumput, mengisahkan masa kecil kakak-beradik Edward dan Alphonse Elric ketika ibu mereka masih hidup. Akting ibunya kaku bener kayak kanebo kering. Yet the thing made me groaning in frustration already even if I'm only two minutes in was... the Elric brothers' eyebrows. I shit you not.

Siapa sih MUA-nya??? Sini saya ajak berantem???

Enam menit pertama habis dipakai memperlihatkan bagaimana Elric bersaudara melanggar larangan membangkitkan manusia yang sudah mati dengan alkimia. As a consequences of Law of Equivalent Exchange, Edward ended up losing some limbs and Alphonse lost his whole body, and his soul was bound to an armor suit by Edward using blood seal. Adegan persiapan melakukan proses transmutasi alkimia digambarkan dengan lumayan oke (karena film ini krisis hal bagus, maka jika ada hal yang bisa dipuji sebaiknya disampaikan) sebab Ed dan Al terlihat seperti dua bocah lagi bikin prakarya sekaligus mau ritual pemanggilan dedemit.




...and that was about it.

Not too pleasing CGI aside, the next scenes brought us to recent days. Edward Elric remaja (diperankan Hey! Say! JUMP's infamous pretty boy, Yamada Ryosuke) ditemani Alphonse dalam baju zirah sibuk bertarung melawan pendeta Cornello untuk mengambil cincin batu bertuah darinya. Ini udah melenceng dari plot komik maupun serial anime, sebab mendadak semua pemeran nongol satu per satu saat Cornello berupaya kabur. Adegan penangkapan berubah haluan ke sesi perkenalan.

Termasuk munculnya sniper junjungan saya, Riza Hawkeye (Renbutsu Misako), dan Kolonel Roy Mustang. My beloved Colonel Roy Mustang... portrayed by Fujioka Dean. Hadeh. Jadi gini ya. Fujioka Dean is cool, alright. Dia ganteng dan punya wibawa, cuma ya nggak sampai kelasnya Kolonel Mustang juga. Bagi saya, auranya cenderung menyerempet mas-mas Yapan kantoran yang sering saya temui di sekitaran SCBD. Versi berkali-kali lipat lebih cakep, tentu saja.


Fifteen minutes finally passed; I feel as though I am a century older already. A mish-mash of stuffs so whatever and I haven't been able to sense what this adaptation wants to convey. Namun rupanya itu belum apa-apa, sebab tidak lama kemudian di ruangan Kolonel Mustang hadirlah sesosok bapak-bapak mirip Soeharto yang tampak dihormati semua orang (termasuk Edward). The problem? His appearance doesn't even ring any bell.

PAKDHE??? WHO U AGAIN??

Oh, apparently he's supposed to be Major General Halcrow. Phew. Saya mengembuskan napas lega. If that man is King Bradley, the magnificent Fuhrer of Amestris... I swear to God, I'm gonna call the police for blasphemy. Asli.

Winry Rockbell yang diperankan Honda Tsubasa tidak terlalu mengecewakan. Sekaligus tidak punya keistimewaan. She's far less badass than her original characterizations and kinda 'simplified' into somebody who tags along without much thoughts, but she didn't especially tick me the wrong way. Saking banyaknya karakter dihapuskan (dan CGI untuk bikin sosok Alphonse mahal), Winry maupun tokoh-tokoh lain sering dilesakkan di bagian-bagian cerita yang mana semestinya mereka tidak ada. Sejumlah adegan tidak perlu justru ditambahkan demi screen time pemeran. Bukan pilihan bijak. Alur yang sudah mengkhawatirkan jadi makin bikin mengernyitkan dahi. Momen-momen penting terasa tawar. Less emotional.

But this movie surely gets me emotional. With rage.

Saya merasa butuh dipuk-puk juga seperti anjing(?)nya.

*Heavy sigh*

Fullmetal Alchemist Live-Action Movie didn't even bother to explain the origin of homunculi as the enemies, Mustang's ambitions and longtime relationship between him and Lieutenant Hawkeye, let alone the background story about Ishval and Central, and yet they chose to prolong unimportant scenes like Edward's and Winry's train journey. Somehow they also had the audacity to make Edward ask Roy to become 'someone with power'. Lah Ed lau sokaaaappppp???? Suruh-suruh Kolonel Mustang punya kuasa??? I wailed, literally pulling hair in front of my laptop. What a madness. This is such an ambitious attempt which fell flat on its face I can't even decide whether I should be having secondhand embarrassment or pure anger. Saya dari lubuk hati menyatakan belasungkawa kepada Hongo Kanata, udah tampil di Shingeki no Kyojin, eh sekarang nongol di film ini sebagai tokoh yang underdeveloped. He deserves much, much better.

Empat puluh menit terakhir benar-benar semrawut. I don't think you have to watch the anime series or read the manga to realize how disjointed the storyline is; how much plot holes it has so far. Berantakan banget. Hidup saya aja kalah. Wow, fantastic baby.


«« Hagane no Renkinjutsushi (Fullmetal Alchemist) live-action movie
GOOD POINTS:
  • Fujioka Dean. Not because of his Roy Mustang role, but for being there as "Fujioka Dean" wearing military uniform. I guess this clarifies it.
  • Rather okay portrayal of Edward Elric from Yamada Ryosuke. Penonton belum bisa sepenuhnya memandang dia sebagai 'Ed', aktingnya agak overkill di sejumlah adegan, namun tak ada hal-hal khusus yang perlu dicaci maki. Ibarat kelas kampus, dese masih lolos walau mepet-mepet KKM.
  • The set. Ya iyalah kece, syutingnya di Eropa...
  • Costume department. I shall repeat: costume department. Baju-bajunya cakep anjir. Apalagi baju Edward dan seragam militer tentara Amestris yang dipakai Kolonel Mustang plus rekan-rekannya. The attention to details is top-notch, it goes beyond parts we don't usually bother to look at. Berasa cosplay movie.


DISAPPOINTING POINTS:
  • The fact that this film is CGI-heavy, is a disappointment.
  • Unsalvageable storyline, topped with a mountain of plot holes.
  • Ketiadaan perkembangan karakter. Everyone is just... there. And doing things they're supposed to do. Penokohan ambyar. Multidimensional characters just as written by Arakawa Hiromu? Lmao. Keep dreaming. Tidak ada hal-hal yang menyebabkan penonton berempati. Bahkan konflik Edward dan Alphonse selaku saudara kandung terasa amat sangat nanggung.
  • Insufficient casts for such a grand story. Saya masih supersalty gara-gara tim Mustang dan sederet tokoh penting dihapuskan begitu saja padahal peranan mereka cukup penting.
  • A bunch of bad guys but no one's impressive enough to be considered as The Villain.
  • How Riza Hawkeye didn't get any spotlight. Sejak kasting pun kayaknya tim produksi film ini tidak menganggap mbak kesayangan saya sebagai karakter penting. What a pack of uncultured swines.

Shoot them down, sis.

That being said, Fullmetal Alchemist live-action movie mayyyy be still enjoyable for people who never got in touch with its original material... UNDER TERMS AND CONDITIONS that they will actually read the books or watch Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood anime series. Pokoknya jangan sampai berhenti cuma nonton versi live-action. If you do that, I'll hunt you down, I'll find you, and I'll get you locked up inside a room until you finish reading the manga.

However if you ask me, in all honesty, I reckon that Roy Mustang should simply burn the whole movie down to ashes. He can save humanity that way. Let the flame go wild, Colonel. Wis film kui mending mbok obong wae.



Yes, Colonel. Exactly like that. 
Good job.

z. d. imama

8 comments:

  1. Dirimu ini bener2 pembaca sekaligus pemirsa baperan yg memiliki standar begitu tinggi terhadap komik junjungannya

    Saya cuma bisa bilang: rasain! Kejam ya? Ahahaha

    Lha habisnya memang jarang adaptasi film dari buku/komik berhasil memenuhi hasrat impian pemujanya yg biasanya lunya imajinasi level andromeda

    Jadi, ijinkan saya ngikik terhibur baca ulasanmu. Sekali lagi, kejam ya saya? 😅😅😅

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    Replies
    1. Halagh sampe typo, *punya maksud saya di atas, bukannya *lunya 😒

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    2. Nggak juga sih, Om. Kalau adaptasi filmnya layak atau minimal menyenangkan untuk diikuti seperti
      1. Rurouni Kenshin: Meiji Kenkaku Romantan (2012)
      2. GANTZ (2011)
      3. Gintama (2017), bahkan
      4. Death Note (2006)
      penikmat materi aslinya juga nggak banyak protes, karena ya emang seperti yang udah saya sebut di atas, ada keterbatasan kemampuan menghidupkan banyak hal dari medium animasi/komik ke live-action, dan masalah durasi.

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  2. Dari awal udah berusaha nonton tapi saya ke Yamada sama Dean F yang cenderung ngga suka (padahal ngga pernah ketemu) bikin saya pusing nonton film ini.

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    Replies
    1. Yamada ini... sebenernya saya suka tadi ya dese tuh suka lebay. Nggak akting nggak pas jadi idol. Padahal kalau lagi jadi "diri sendiri" nyenengin banget. Kraying.

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  3. yah.. ngga jadi donlot deh. btw aku suka banget tulisan reviewnya

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  4. Hahahahaha saya kok ngakak ya baca ini. Tulisannya pedih tapi entah kenapa menghibur hati XD

    Hmm kayaknya saya mesti menurunkan ekspektasi tinggi sama FMA live action ini ya, meskipun saya suka sama si Dean tapi kalau plotnya jauh banget gini jadi malesin. Sama kayak AOT, meskipun saya seneng sama Miura tp live actionnya bikin makan ati

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  5. Beberapa minggu yang lalu nyempetin diri nonton.ohmy, kecewa bgt, sma skli ga kerasa chemistry nya. Tbh, pas tau Yamada jadi Ed. Kepikirannya 'elah lebay ni pasti', dan emang bener, prtama mncul di scene, cma bsa narik napas, dan brharap ga jlek-jelek amat (tpi knytaan tk sejalan). Selesai nonton lngsung hapus

    ReplyDelete