*background
music: YUI - Tokyo
this
feels nostalgic.
as
though i’m having a déjà vu.
today,
i’m leaving my town and heading to a completely unfamiliar city for study.
Depok, West Java is where i’m going to. the thought sends my memories back to
those days of student exchange, but still, somehow i know it won’t be the same.
this time, i really stand on my own feet. no host-school. no host-family. no
scholarship support (yet; i plan to
look for some anyway). no liaison person who’ll help me getting through a
trouble—whenever necessary.
deep
insides, i hear my heart whisper,
“hey. this
is gonna be more difficult than before…”
i know.
but i have things to do.
i need to keep looking
forward.
so i
pack my things up.
i
throw a glance around my room one more time and my chest clenches tightly. after
finally getting used to this room (again)… i must go doing another journey. a
harsher one. there’s no dreamy imagination like what i had before departing to
Japan two years ago—has it been that long? oh yes, it has. the last year of
high school i spend at my hometown carved its evidence in the room. i still
remember how my textbooks scattered all over the bed with me fallen asleep on
an open notebook while holding a pen. i still can see myself do all-nighters on
my study desk, fingers dancing on the keyboard and stopping several times to
just yawn sleepily or rub my eyes. i still know by heart where i usually put my
test results.
oh
crap.
suddenly
i become so sentimental.
walking
out of your comfort zone is never pleasant.
it’s
sad, lonely, and somewhat scary. it makes you feel blue. i’m enthralled by the
thought of starting my life as a college student yet at the same time i’m
hoping that time will stop. here. right frigging now. so that i can treasure
each moment of being in my comfort zone. in a house where i can see and hug and
talk to my family everyday. in a place where i can be at ease.
all
the time.
see
you later, hometown.
i’ll
be back home in about two weeks later—if God allows.
hopefully,
the me who will stand on the doorstep of my family’s house is better than the
one typing this blog entry.
hello
Depok,
prepare
yourself.
because
i aim to kick your ass hard.
mom—and
my silly little sister, of course—i’ll surely miss you two.
dad,
i’ll very much miss our daily bickering and arguments and stupid fights.
take
care.
have a great day,
z. d. imama
I wanna get out from this town...
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